Raising a Happy Child

I think that raising a happy child is the goal of every parent. The journey starts the moment a new mother discovers that she is pregnant.

You start planning the nursery and childproofing the house. You spend months choosing the perfect baby name, and preparing for labor and delivery, but do you take the time to think about how you are going to discipline your children?

In my opinion, the happiest children are the ones who know how and when to be on their best behavior, but also know how to just be a kid and have fun.

Let's face it, though, most kids (including my own) have a knack for doing the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time. They can test your patience to limits you never knew possible.

When you feel as though you are constantly yelling at your children it's easy to think that raising a happy child is an impossible mission.

Children need structure and discipline. They need to be corrected when they have acted inappropriately. Parents need to learn how to stop feeling guilty for disciplining their children.

Discipline is actually a wonderful tool for raising a happy child, as long as you follow some general rules:

• the punishment must match the crime
• use age-appropriate discipline
• never threaten discipline that you cannot enforce

The idea is not to deflate your child's self-worth or to make them feel ashamed, but rather to encourage appropriate behavior. I truly believe that assertive discipline is the foundation for raising a happy child.

How to Discipline Children

I recently read a book that deals with all of these issues and much, much more. "How To Behave So Your Children Will, Too!" written by Sal Severe, PhD changed my life as a mother.

Dr. Severe has been a child psychologist for over 25 years. He uses amusing stories from his years of counseling mixed in with real advice to illustrate how a parent's behavior influences a child's behavior.

For example, Dr. Severe suggests that you should never end a direction to your child with the word "okay," or "alright." When you do this you are turning the command into a question rather than a statement and you are leading your child to believe that he or she has a choice in the matter.

You should say "It's time to go to bed." Do not say "It's time to go to bed, okay?" If you use the question, your child can simply say, "No, it's not okay. I want to stay up longer."

Another great lesson from this book is to communicate with your children. Tell them what to expect so that there are no surprises which turn into opportunities for them to whine or complain.

Don't just say "We have to run some errands." Instead, before you leave home tell them "We have to go to the drug store, the grocery store and the dry cleaners. We will not be buying any candy or toys today." Then stick to it.

This book has made the job of raising a happy child so much easier for me.

This book is an absolute must-read for all parents!

The Importance of Discipline

It is common knowledge that children thrive on structure. Assertive discipline provides structure. So the importance of discipline in the life of a child is very clear. Disciplined children will feel happier and more secure knowing that their parents love and care for them enough to set proper boundaries and provide the structure they need.

A great way to bring structure to your child's life is to get them involved in sports or other activities that encourage child discipline.

Golf is becoming very popular with kids and teens. On the golf course kids will learn personal skills such as cooperation, leadership, confidence, courtesy, respect, discipline and honesty. These traits will stay with them forever!

Junior golf programs are becoming more and more popular making the great game of golf accessible and affordable to parents of young golfers. The Junior Golf Guide is a wonderful resource which will provide you with all the information you will need to introduce your child to golf.

Raising a happy child also means raising a child with strong self-esteem who knows how to have fun! Allow your child plenty of time to just be a kid. Here are some great ways that you can have fun with your kids and help shape them into self-assured, independent individuals.

Tips for raising a happy child

• Let loose with your children. When the time is appropriate, encourage them to be silly and be silly right along with them. Laughter is good for the soul!

• Encourage your child to think outside the box. If your daughter colors a picture with a pink sky, tell her it is the most beautiful sky you have ever seen instead of correcting her and telling her that the sky should be blue. Allowing your children to express themselves creatively does wonders for their self-esteem, not to mention their imaginations!

• It's okay to not want to participate in the activity your child wants to do. If coloring is not your thing, sit at the table with your child as she colors while doing an activity that you enjoy. Make sure to take time out every few minutes to admire her work. The point is spending time together, not necessarily doing the same thing.

• Play board games with your children. Board games teach kids to follow directions and wait their turn, but it is also a wonderful bonding opportunity between parent and child.

• Read to your child. Every night at bedtime make time for reading. Reading not only inspires their imaginations, but teaches them to love books and encourages them to read on their own.

• Encourage your child to meet new friends. If you see another child roughly the same age, encourage your child to go over and introduce himself, ask what the other child's name is and extend an invitation to play together. If your child is too shy, help him with the introduction. Walk over to the other child together and say "This is Billy, what's your name." Then ask "Would you guys like to play together?"

• Allow your child to solve her own problems among her friends. Teach her to stand up for herself. Of course, you should encourage her to use polite words, rather than actions for problem solving.

• Teach your child the basics of organization and time management which will allow them to develop into adults who are prepared to tackle all of life's challenges.

Raising a happy child can be challenging at times, but it is so rewarding when you start to see your efforts pay off. Have some fun with your kids today!

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