Organizing for Elderly Peace of Mind

by Janice
(PA)

I've worked for a 96 year old woman for the last 15 years. She has no relatives other than a few very distant relatives on her deceased husband's side of the family. The last few years she has been living in an assisted living bedroom unit (quite small after living many years in a normal sized home).

She is wasting the last years of her life in a constant state of worry about getting things organized so her Power of Attorney does not have a mess to deal with. Another one of her companions and I have spent many hours listing items that are of value and meaning to her. She even hired an organizer to come in twice to mark each drawer and cabinet with what it held, etc.

Still she spends day after day fretting over getting things in order. We are at wits end on what to do. Also she will not just allow us to take the reigns and just go ahead and move or dispose of things . She needs to help us make every decision.

How can we help her?

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Organizing for Elderly Peace of Mind

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Sep 18, 2008
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How to Help Organize for Elderly Peace of Mind NEW
by: Tracy

This is a very common situation with the elderly, especially those that are alone due to the death of their spouse or distance from living loved ones.

When the loss of independence starts to become an issue, the only thing left to cling onto are the materials possessions they have collected throughout their years. It can be difficult, often impossible, to get them to part with these seemingly insignificant items. The fact is, these items are not insignificant to them...they represent the only thing left in life that they have control over.

Of course, the best-case scenario is to get your elderly loved-one to declutter as much as possible before moving into any type of assisted living situation. Here are a few suggestions for helping them sort through the items they decided not to part with...

It sounds like your companion already has some decisions made as far as who she would like these items to be given to. Why not suggest that she gift the items to their intended recipients while she is still around to see their happiness upon receiving them?

When a decision is made to part with an item, dispose of it immediately. If you set the item aside to deal with later, by the time later comes she will have changed her mind.

When it comes to items that are so special to her she wants to keep them with her and only gift them after she is gone, all you can do is reassure her that those items are safe and that you have a clear record of her wishes.

Keep in mind that these material objects are all she has left in the world. Though it may become exasperating for you to constantly have to inventory everything in her room...it may be the only thing she has to think about.

If ever there comes a time when you are unclear about her wishes, contact her Power of Attorney and get that person involved. As her caretaker and friend you may feel responsible but, at the end of the day, it is up to her Power of Attorney to make the final decisions.

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